Hi Lovelies, long time no speak. Since I hadn’t posted a life update in a while I thought it would be a good place to start in the new year. As most of you know I live here in Jersey Channel Islands. It’s a small island between England and France, it’s got a lower tax rate so Finance is the main Job sector here. COVID of course had an impact here, however we were very much kept in our little Jersey bubble.
You’ll know from my Structure || MagpieMagpie in Isolation Post that we went into Lockdown for about two months here. In that time Jarek’s company went into liquidation and the uncertainty of my own job was lingering. Over that time I kept super busy and created a structure plan in my new normal. Like many of you, I also did a number of self destructive things like stalk people I used to know and compare my life. I read books on lifestyle, only to realise that the life we had created was far from the life we truly wanted.
Of course I was nervous about going back to work, but also happy to get out of the house for more than two hours. Not to mention being able to see my work colleagues and friends. As time went on the new normal became clear. I won’t go into this too much as its going to be different for everyone depending on your location.
Over the past few months I’ve realised that I have a terrible work life balance, with no clear life plan. It seems I’ve spent the past decade of my life surviving. Thriving is a foreign concept. How does someone like me do this? This got me thinking about the things that make me happy? What I want my life to look like in three years time?
The big question: WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?
I have been asked this question in countless counselling session. (Side note: if you didn’t know I suffer from anxiety, here’s a LINK to some of my posts on the subject) My answer never got any clearer. However, I do know that I can’t continue down this path. This path that seems to be a circle. I’m going around and around doing the same thing, hoping for a different outcome. That is of course the definition of insanity.
Over the next few months my goal is to find the answers to this question. Shouldn’t be a hard question to answer, but I realised I’ve never been able to answer with certainty. Now to be fair I tend to get asked this question when I’m not in the best place, but never the less it’s a question I struggle to answer honestly.
The tone in this post might be a bit low, but I am genuinely excited to search for these answer and focus on my thoughts as apposed to the thoughts, wants and expectations that others push onto me. 2021 is going to be a year of discovery and putting things into practice!
Have you reflected on life during COVID?
I’d love to hear from you! Leave me a comment below.
Till next time.